Author: Heather Anne
Please baby stay.
I clutched my hands to my belly and I cried.
Please baby stay.
It was a 30 minute drive to the hospital. We made it in 16.
Please baby stay.
I prayed to heaven and I pleaded like hell. And I hoped my words reached my baby girl.
Please baby stay.
Because I wanted to meet her but it was too soon. And I wasn’t ready to lose her again. Because I had already lost her once.
Please baby stay.
We were rushed into the same room as before, where years ago they had first told us we had lost her. And now they told us we might be losing her again.
Please baby stay.
They didn’t say the word again. They didn’t know. But I knew. I knew it was always her.
She was always meant to be mine. But the first time she just wasn’t ready yet. Or maybe she knew I wasn’t ready yet. But it was always her.
Please baby stay.
She left us for the first time on October 28th. And I was afraid I would never get to meet her. A few years went by before she came back to me again. And when they told me the date I would finally get to hold her I was certain; it was still her. I was due to meet her on the same day that she had left us before.
Please baby stay.
Now they told us she was leaving again. They were sure. But I wasn’t.
Please baby stay.
Minutes of uncertainty that seemed like hours slipped by. And then I heard her, and her steady beat whispered my name.
Because she was mine. She was always meant to be mine. And as much as it broke my heart that she had to go before I knew that she must have had a reason for leaving.
Please baby stay.
The months of praying and waiting quickly passed.
As the day drew near she knew how scared I was. Because of what that date had meant before. So she waited. A few days longer.
I’m so glad she stayed.
For Adalynn. Who left me once 10/28/10 but who I finally met 10/31/13.
Mamas in Pajamas 
So sweet! I lost a baby a few months ago and my world has been gray ever since. Reading this made me cry but also gave me joy. I hope I am as blessed as you one day. God is good!
Psalm 34:18-19
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I am so glad this gave you joy! But I am so sorry for your lose. My world was gray for quite some time afterwards and I honestly thought I would never find the strength to try again for another child. But time, prayer and a supportive husband and family helped me heal. God is good! And I hope you will continue to follow our blog and I look forward to one day reading your announcement that you have been blessed again as well!
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That is so heart warming. That was her all along and like you said that maybe you wasn’t ready but now you definitely are and a great mom at that. Continue to keep you precious little princess safe and she will in the long run keep you safe and take good care of you. God bless you during that hard time but just really look at your princess now and realize how far you came.
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Thank you for reading it Kiana! My daughter is such a blessing and just looking at her overshadows my grief.
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I lost my first baby on 20/10/2012 at 8weeks. But God is good as Nel said and we will all be blessed
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Your story gave me joy on a bleak day. Thank you for sharing it.
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My world turned gray three times. My younger sister’s world is gray right now. You wrote this so beautifully. You put into words what I felt. Thank you so much.
I am going to share this with my sister, and I hope she can draw some measure of comfort from you.
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