Category Archives: Blog

When your friends make you feel like sh*t

Girl screaming into friend's ear

Author: Heather Anne

We’ve all been there. You go out to lunch with a friend and she shows up looking completely fabulous and talking about just how fabulous her life is and you can’t help sitting there thinking “yeah. I hate her.”

What do you mean “you hate her”? She’s your friend! Shouldn’t you be happy that she looks great and her life is so great? Yes. Yes you should. But you know what…

Sometimes your friends just make you feel like sh*t.
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Every day I’m a mother, a little piece of me dies.

Author: Mary Katherine

Every day I’m a mother, a little piece of me dies.

When Ben is in his highchair and I’m cleaning the floors and dishes. And his arm magically transforms into a windshield wiper against the high chair tray. Waffle and oranges fly across the room. Rising up inside of me is a piece of my heart that is angry and impatient. And then I catch my son’s eyes–bright and bubbling with laughter–and that angry little piece of me dies.

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Please baby stay: A pregnant mother’s prayer

IMG_0856BWAuthor: Heather Anne

Please baby stay. 

I clutched my hands to my belly and I cried.

Please baby stay. 

It was a 30 minute drive to the hospital. We made it in 16.

Please baby stay. 

I prayed to heaven and I pleaded like hell. And I hoped my words reached my baby girl.

Please baby stay. 

Because I wanted to meet her but it was too soon. And I wasn’t ready to lose her again. Because I had already lost her once.

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I loved my baby but hated my body

Author: Heather Anne

I was depressed. I was in a dark place. I was holding this beautiful baby in my arms and I felt like the farthest thing from beautiful. I undressed at night and stared in the mirror at a reflection of a body that I didn’t know. I touched my skin and traced lines that had appeared overnight and led to places that hadn’t been there before. And I felt lost, and confused, and a little angry, because this body wasn’t mine. This wasn’t me. But here’s the thing. It was. And I needed to accept it. I needed to stop hating my body because it was making me hate myself. And that needed to stop.
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When Marriage is Your Home

Author: Mary Katherine

My freshman year of college had been one helluva party, but it was a disaster in many ways: academically, personally, spiritually. I spent the first semester discovering alcohol and losing little bits of myself. My closest friends expressed concern, but that just pissed me off. So I drifted. And I drifted.

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A stranger called me fat

Author: Heather Anne

A stranger called me fat. And I cried. I cried a lot. Not because I cared about his opinion, but because he was right.

And sometimes the truth hurts.

His actual term of endearment was “chunky.” I’m not really sure if that is better or worse than “fat” but I’m pretty sure they are just about equal on my list of things I’d rather not be called.

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Laundry Piles and Loneliness

I can sum up my thoughts on motherhood so far in 3 words.

I. Didn’t. Know.
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Pajamas and Sunshine

There was a moment in my life, not that long ago, when I realized who I really was. Not in the soul-discovering existential sense, but a quite literal one. I was strolling down the cobble-lined streets of Park Avenue with Infant Ben tucked neatly beneath a powder blue blanket. I had brushed my hair, dressed in a real bra (nursing moms feel my pain) and gotten out of the house. My best friend of 25 years was in town and we found ourselves window shopping, eating ice cream cones, and leisurely basking in the crisp weather of a Florida fall. I was also sleep-deprived and incredibly grouchy despite my surroundings. Lunch was taking forever, the sidewalks were crowded, and women with children were bustling in and out of stores with armfuls of shopping sacks. It was like somebody had kicked a human baby anthill in the heart of Winter Park.
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